Why bother...?
MiserableI hardly contribute to the DeviantArt community so I guess I don't feel I should contribute in other ways, such as keeping the journal updated. However I decided to add an entry.
Been drowning in work recently and haven't had time to write anything of value. The one or two good pieces (even by my standards and I seem to despise all that I write) have led nowhere. One was a major part of a book I am writing based on a character I created. It was meant to be a large chunk of the book and I lost it. Was in Greece at the time, writing it in the 6 hour break from work. (I was working on an Archaeological project there). Anyway, my laptop died on me and when I took the hard disk out to get the contents copied, the people at the computer store said it was dead or unreadable. Brilliant, no?
The other decent piece has been drawn to a halt. I'm too busy with university to spend more time on it, and its supposed to be part of another novel I'm working on. An existentialist novel. I had been reading Milan Kundera's The Unbearable Lightness of Being when I saw a pair of panties on the sidewalk. This was close to where I live (a dodgy neighbourhood to begin with) at midnight. I rarely get a character that reveals itself in its entirety to me when I first imagine it, so you can imagine my glee when I found this gentlemen in my mind.
But now I am busy writing essays that don't count to my final mark on things that don't particularly interest me and preparing to give three seminars in three consecutive weeks. I would complain more about the rest of my work but there's no point, really.
Usually all of that wouldn't bother me, but add to that my constant fluctuation in emotions (being bipolar is like being on a rollercoaster for your emotions; its cliché but then you have long moments between rides of extreme apathy bordering neglect of self), insomnia and discomfort in public places but seem to have to rely on them to work ("home" isn't as comfortable as it should be).
Too much confusion, really. Lithium by Evanescence; hate to say it, but the lyrics describe certain things a little too well. Must stop complaining now; I'm sure there are people whose misfortune outweighs mine, but I guess its still "healthy" to vent. My apologies to anyone who reads this.
Tchuss
Devious Comments
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"This Is For You, Everything I Am ... Take It From Me"
Member of: *communism
But yes, that sounds like a deal, thanks.
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"All that is gold does not glitter; not all those that wander are lost."
- J.R.R Tolkien
A friend reccommended Kundera's novel to me, but I'm yet to read it (university, work and all... actually, I'm quite positive those are excuses, academia seemed to have put a damper on my love for reading).
If the essays don't count toward your final mark, and they don't interest you, why were you writing them? O.o
So you're in the UK, you like French movies, you know some German, and you've been to Greece... fortunately diverse man, aren't you?
"I would complain more about the rest of my work but there's no point, really."
Well, really--! It's your journal, dear. If you can't vent here, where will you vent? I berate myself in the same way, but continue to vent nevertheless-- it's cliche, but there will always be happier people, and there will always be sadder people. (Er, and mood-swingier people, I suppose...?)
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[link] ← My Shikamaru/Neji account ♥
I understand how academia can choke one's love of anything related to personal time and hobbies. I was lucky enough to sneak in some time for Kundera's novel. And I would also recommend it. I was in love with it after the first few pages.
The essays are, unfortunately, part of the course. I may not like them but I have to write them. It makes my final mark look better because I completed all the tasks set, etc. They were difficult to write at the time and it shows in my grades (especially as I stayed up the entire night before they were due just to write them - too much work).
If you think that is diverse, you probably should learn that I was born in Australia, lived in Portugal for a few years to finish high school and have parents from Africa. All Portuguese heritage.
I did not continue my vent because I wanted to spare those who read it the complaining. I find it all to be a burden.
Thank you for this comment. I have justified further procrastination with
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"All that is gold does not glitter; not all those that wander are lost."
- J.R.R Tolkien
I understand how academia can choke one's love of anything related to personal time and hobbies. I was lucky enough to sneak in some time for Kundera's novel. And I would also recommend it. I was in love with it after the first few pages.
The essays are, unfortunately, part of the course. I may not like them but I have to write them. It makes my final mark look better because I completed all the tasks set, etc. They were difficult to write at the time and it shows in my grades (especially as I stayed up the entire night before they were due just to write them - too much work).
If you think that is diverse, you probably should learn that I was born in Australia, lived in Portugal for a few years to finish high school and have parents from Africa. All Portuguese heritage.
I did not continue my vent because I wanted to spare those who read it the complaining. I find it all to be a burden.
Thank you for this comment. I have justified further procrastination with
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"All that is gold does not glitter; not all those that wander are lost."
- J.R.R Tolkien
Kundera's on my ever-growing list of authors to indulge in once such a thing as "homework" no long exists in my immediate future. Unfortunately, reading is still put as a secondary free-time priority after getting some art projects finished, so that may be a while.
O_o That seems odd to me-- to have essays that are essentially required, but don't count toward final marks. Then again, here, I guess that would fall into counting as participation points.
*squeals* Australia! Oh, I love Australia (or, the next to nothing I know of it
^__^; If readers dislike complaints, they shouldn't read it. Nobody is forcing it on them.
I didn't expect such a prompt reply, honestly, as you seem to update so little.
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[link] ← My Shikamaru/Neji account ♥
I've an ever-growing reading list. My father thinks I'm an existentialist because of it, but I just find Sarte's work interesting. Also these are books for my personal library. I've told myself that one day I'll have my own small library. Dreams...
The essays are practice for exams and the like.
My accent is odd. It was never very Australian because there was always a bit of South African in it, from my father. Its where he learnt how to speak English. Right now its a bit English (maybe posh English as some have put it) but English none the less. I still have a few Australianisms and South Africanisms.
Good luck with study. If it wasn't for the constant reminders to study I wouldn't. It really is just boring. *sigh sigh*
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"All that is gold does not glitter; not all those that wander are lost."
- J.R.R Tolkien
Oh, the only piece of Sartre's that I've ever read was Huis Clos, but that was back when I was fourteen or fifteen. I found it very fascinating, but just never got around to reading more of him. Speaking of libraries, my best friend and I are moving in together this summer, and we'll be having a small library of our own... between the two of us, we have seven bookshelves, and that's still with some books stored in miscellaneous places.
Interesting. O.o When I speak Korean now, I apparently sound American. It's worrisome.
Oh, I empathize. Studying drives me nuts-- classes that require studying usually present such dry material! It's so aggravating. Good luck with your studying as well, dear. <3
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[link] ← My Shikamaru/Neji account ♥
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